Essay: Mind the Gap

On the Menopausal Whore

Monica Guerritore and Giacomo Giannotti

(Spoiler alerts for all the films and TV shows mentioned.)

Perhaps because the lines on her face and body feel like a love letter from my future self, 67-year-old Monica Guerritore’s role in the Netflix Italian series Inganno (Deceitful Love) makes her my “menopausal whore” hero.

“Menopausal whore,” is one of the best insults ever hurled my way. And I am repurposing it as the highest compliment, for Guerritore especially, and for the protagonists of the films and television shows in this essay.

My previous menopausal whore hero is Emma Thomspon, who was 62 when she filmed 2021’s Good Look To You, Leo Grande.

A photograph that Monica Guerritore, 67, shared on Instagram along with this caption: “This is what we actresses want (roles) which correspond to our age, reflect in our faces and bodies, (mirroring) the ages of our audience, and celebrating new forms of loving ourselves and to be loved. We are here to tell stories that, even in the pretense of an imaginary plot, are lived by real people.” Translated from Italian to English by Great British Tea Party.

I could write a book about the heavy lifting that “menopausal whore” performs, but for now I want to focus on the simplest of its meanings: an old woman (who actually looks old,) whose desire she was supposed to have returned to sender (patriarchy) after her use-by date expired (menopause) but who–SURPRISE!--still desires and now fucks who she wants with abandon because–PLOT TWIST! --she can’t be punished with consequence (has no fear of getting pregnant).

And there, three minutes into Inganno is Gabriella, the character Guerritore portrays, standing on a balcony and enjoying the view when she spots a better view–a man on a nearby dock who disrobes and skinny dips. A little girl interrupts her delight with “Grandma, grandma! Happy Birthday!” Gabriella has just turned 60. And there, 21 minutes into Inganno is Gabriella kissing Mr. Skinny Dipper aka Elia (played by Giacomo Giannotti who I have learned was Dr. Andrew DeLuca in Grey’s Anatomy), whose hands are soon under her blouse and on her breasts–more delight. And there, 28 minutes into Inganno is Gabriella and Elia, intertwined in her bed, naked, having sex.